27 on the 27th

I’ve lied.
I’ve cheated.
I’ve stolen.
I’ve said really mean things behind peoples backs.
I’ve engaged in one too many immature Twitter fights .
I’ve been “that [drunk] girl” at way too many birthday parties/weddings/corporate awards events…
I’ve judged others.
I’ve let people down.
I’ve said things I didn’t mean to hurt other people.
I’ve done and said some really shitty things in my 27 years.
But also- I love.
I have been hurt.
I have hurt.
I have apologized.
I have forgiven.
I have gathered strength..
and I have provided it.
I’ve given grace.
My heart is kind.
I am compassionate.
I crave connection.
I’m not the same person I was 10 years ago.
I’m not the same person I was 5 years ago.
I’m not the same person I was last year.
Sometimes I feel like I’m on a never ending rollercoaster ride…
but still, I love.
I’m not perfect, but I don’t expect anyone else to be either. 

Today, I turn 27 years old. Since my birthday is May 27th, that would make this day my golden birthday and this year my golden year. I kicked off my golden year by conquering one of my biggest fears–jumping out of an airplane. When you get down to it, I don’t think the actual act of skydiving is my biggest fear,  but more the act of letting go of control. I don’t want to let my fears and insecurities continue to cloud my vision of the beauty all around me. I am not without fear, but I’m done letting it stop me. I’m done letting it have control over my life. I know this will be a process, but jumping out of that plane today was a good first step. It was something I never thought I would be courageous enough to do. But that’s another thing that I am….#28- Brave.

So here goes nothing. I’m going to live my golden year to the fullest. Loving life, loving others, and loving myself.

**This post was started May 25th, 2017 but completed in real time, May 27th, 10:111pm