So, on Monday, I gave a few reasons why I’ve been absent here on the blog lately…but there is one more.
Well. If you know why I started this , you know I’m here to keep up with friends and fam, share fun moments, and chronicle all my discoveries on life. So far, I’ve battled figuring out what I’m doing in blogland and the sharing of personal information, but I haven’t tackeld my feelings on faith and politics. I mentioned in my about me that I wanted to share things about faith as I am passionately pursuing it, but the how and when has been a mystery to me up until this point.
Although this was started as a very lighthearted venture, I take what I put out on the internet very seriously. Not only is it that I want to be sensitive but I also want this to be the truest representation of me, because I do have the ablitily to think before I speak. I know I will mess up here too, but I feel it’s easier to flub in real life because so much can be said without thought or tact in the heat of a moment that can lead to a misrepresentation of one’s character…and I don’t want to do that here.
I know not everything I post (even with the most thought put into it) here will be the opinon or thought of everyone who comes across it, but I want to have at least thought out what I’m doing here, especially when it comes to subjects that are of sensitive nature. Sometimes I so wish that I could be the person whose heart doesn’t miss a beat when the winds seem to be swirling all which ways- but I am a sensitive soul.
I used to be convinced that was a sign of weakness.
I used to be convinced that I couldn’t be sensitive and gentle as well as wild and crazy (that Gemini status starting to make a little more sense now?). I’ve always felt very conflicted within my own being because I thought -or I felt- that I had to be one way or another. But that’s just not me. I have a lighthearted whim, but I also have roots that travel deep into other realms of thought that even sometimes scare me a little. I just am who I am, I don’t have to be this or that. It’s ok to just be how I am, the same as it’s ok for you to be just how you are, whichever way that may or may not be. It’s all groovy. (I’m brining that back. You heard it here first.)
I say alllllll that to say-
I’ve been losing my shit over everything that is going on in the world right now.
The world, yea, but specifically this country. My mind is spinning. I feel so overwhelmed. I have SO much to say and I feel like I can’t keep quiet or I’ll explode. So of course, that led me to…where? Where do I say these things? Express myself? There is so much being said about it all on Facebook and everywhere else, do I really want to allow posts like that through the filter here?
It feels to me that that’s what Facebook is for these days, political stance and whatnot. Should this space here be an escape from all that? Is that what people want? Most importantly…is that what I want? I’m not really concerned with scaring people away because of my beliefs because I’m going to be who I am unapologetically, but mainly, do I want to bring that sort of heaviness through here?
And I think my answer is yes. A mild, possibly hesitant, yes.
I didn’t have a Facebook until earlier this year and I mainly got it to keep up with what everyone else was doing once in a while (not everyone has a blog, go figure.) but I wanted to keep up with me here. A place where my only affiliation is me. Where only my thoughts flow and are not interwoven with others from people I might not even know. Here is just me. Where anyone is free to explore without fear of a rejected friend request.
So there you have it, that’s part two of why I haven’t been here recently. I’ve been having so many thoughts to share but I needed to put some intentional thought on whether this was the place to do it. And as you might have learned before, I’m not good at posting about things that aren’t actually going on. I will say though, I’m working on the whole “schedule your posts” thing so hopefully that will help in keeping a little somethin’, somethin’ up here on a weekly basis. Like the Makeup Mixup! That’s every Thursday! I could schedule that! And the Creative Closet is on Tuesdays, I’ve been wanting to try that. I could work on it by scheduling those. Although that requires me putting makeup on at least once a week and getting dressed in something other than jeans and a white tshirt. It’s all about setting goals! ;)
So, I’ve decided to start talking about things of political and religious (even though I hate that word…more on that later…) nature if it should so strike me. If that bothers you, then you can skip those posts, that’s ok. And they probably won’t be often. I really don’t aim to be the controversial type, I just have a heart that weighs heavy sometimes and if there are other like souls to flutter with, I’d like to find them ♥
I know these types of photoless posts aren’t “popular” in blogland but I hope if you’re here, it’s not to fit in, it’s to be you, just as you are, photoless, run-on sentence-y, misplaces comma-y, too many exclamationmark-y you. Well, I guess that’s more me, but in the famous words of MK&A circa the costume party, come as you are.
Terrible quality, but just for fun because it was my favorite from that movie and I need a smile because wordpress was giving me shxt last night so maybe you need a smile too because maybe something is giving you a run for your money as well today. It’s hump day. You can make it boo. ♥